"I Must Have Done Something Good"

Most days I feel like a pretty lousy mother. I don't like getting on the floor to play, it actually hurts. I hate when they make big messes so I don't like play dough or slime, and summer is hot, so I'm not running around outside. I beat myself up all the time about everything I don't do, that I thought I would do, as a mom.

Sometimes though, on nights like tonight, I know that I'm not all bad. I have little, reassuring moments of validation that I am doing something right. Very right, I might say. 

I took Ayden out by himself tonight. It's important for me to spend some time alone with the kids. They don't get much 'mom' time on a day to day basis, and I love to take them away from the house and touch base with them. Sometimes we have very meaningful conversations and sometimes, it's just for fun. Well, it's always fun.

Ayden chose to eat at Panera. That kid is a hoot. He likes the noodle soup in a bread bowl. Then we went to the sporting goods store because he's been asking for sandals. I figured it would be a good time because they go on sale mid-summer. Ayden decided he would save his soda for Dillon and half his cookie too. I thought that was very sweet. Next we went to Five Below. If you've never heard of that place it's like a dollar store, but better. Everything is $5 or below so the quality of most of their stuff is better than a dollar store. As we got out of the car I told Ayden he could pick out one thing, anything, in the store. He informed me that he was going to get something for Dillon. I was so touched that he was going to give up his choice for his brother. I thought to myself, "Wow, I don't get down and dirty with my kids but, at the end of the day, they will be good people." And I'm ok with that.

Dillon and Ayden with their gumball machines from Five Below.