Being a grown up is just scary, rotten business sometimes. I have always known that. It is precisely why I never really wanted to be a grown up. Sure I looked forward to getting married and having a family. That was never a worry. Even now that is the part of being a grown up I truly cherish. Even on bad days, I love being a wife and a mother and, most days, I think I do that fairly well.
The scary part of grown uphood is the 'making a living' part. In a perfect world this part would not be scary. If one worked hard and gave all they had/could to their job and did their part, everyone would have exactly what they needed to provide for their family. Of course, we all know this is not the perfect world and we are too human to live the law of consecration. *sigh* So, we scurry about, killing ourselves trying to do the best at our jobs and hope someone notices so that maybe we'll get a raise, promotion...etc. The problem is, when we are doing our best, it is Murphy's law that no one will notice. When we have a bad day... that is when the higher ups will come by. Such is life in the American workforce and probably everywhere in the world.
What brought on all this worry and musing? Bobby is so unhappy at work. I know this, his family knows this, his boss knows this, ok, anyone who talks to him knows this. We know it is just a matter of months until we leave and yet I don't know how long his temperament and blood pressure can handle this. Therefore, when others that work close to him begin to leave I know it makes him antsy to do the same. I don't blame him. He has been looking into other jobs casually for the past month or so. Now he is going full force. He is using his sick days and pounding the pavement in search of something new. I know he needs to. This is without doubt, and I'm ok with that. But now all the uncertainty is rushing in and I'm thinking of the cost of moving and feeding four kids and all the other bills that still have to get paid. I know he'll find something. He is a hard worker, a good worker, I just hate the limbo of not knowing.
So, I will dream of Neverland and Peter Pan and a perfect world in which everyone pulls their weight and everyone is taken care of and I'll live in the real world of grown up woes. Of bills and jobs and bosses that are too busy to take notice of what their employees are really trying to do. Not that I meant for this to get depressing so let me add: I am so thankful for my healthy family, for my current job and future job, for my faith in my Heavenly Father and the gospel of my church, for smiling faces that kiss me and hug me daily and for all the prayers and thoughts of family and friends. Bobby and I are, without a doubt, truly blessed. That leaves this post on a strange note but I'm strange so what's new?
Thank heavens for Scott A., Bobby's current boss, he cooled my hot headed husband and now Bobby realizes that staying put until we move is the best way to go. Sheesh, what a week. Thanks Scott!