Friday, April 15, 2011
I Don't Really Understand the Question
~Day 5: The question for today is, How do you spend time alone? Say what? Time alone. Um, I still don't get it. What is that exactly? Time alone for me is a joke. Not a funny one either. I used to have alone time every day on my way to and from work. It's a 35 minute drive so it was a great, quiet way to think about my day, set goals, and assess my life. About once or twice a week I would call my dad on my way home. We could talk, uninterrupted for a good 30 minutes. I would turn the music up and listen to whatever I wanted. Now Ayden rides with me since his daycare is ten minutes away from my school. I spend that time listening to his dreams, his ideas and pretty much being bossed around by a four year old. I admit I envy my husband his days off. He is off two week days a week. On his day off there is no one home until 2:30. Even then he can go upstairs and the kids don't follow him. I can't go to the bathroom without being followed by at least two of them. So... my time alone comes around 9:30. It seems the older they get, the less alone time I get. During my alone time I watch some TV shows or movies. I read... a lot. And I sleep! Before kids I stayed up late and woke up early and felt great. Post children I stay awake as late as I can muster so I get my alone time and then I'm dragging tail ALL day the next day. Not only that but I can fall asleep any time: on the couch, at the table, driving... ok, I'm kidding. But not much. In all seriousness though favorite way to spend time alone is the same as it's always been. I love to read a book and eat something that my kids would love to be eating. How do you spend 'me' time?
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I often feel like I don't have any mental space, if that makes any sense. I cannot finish a thought from start to finish without interruption. Ironically, when I do have time alone, I almost don't know how to function. I feel fidgety, wondering if there is someone or something I should be attending to.
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